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Ans: Dear Anonymous,

If you are finding it difficult to meet girls IRL, why don't you try out dating apps? It can be perfect for you. First of all, the chances of getting friend-zoned on a dating app are comparatively lower because it is a dating app and most users are using it to find a date. Yes, some people look for friends too but they will either mention it on their Bio or match with people who mentioned the same on their Bio.

I suggest you research a bit and find a dating app that fits your requirements. For instance, some apps cater to people looking for serious commitment and some others are solely for casual relationships. You pick a dating app based on your preference. Next step- build an interesting profile. Put a display image that helps you put your best foot forward. Something recent, clear, and impressive. Do not overedit; it's not appealing. Write a clear and concise bio that gives a glimpse of who you are, what you want in a relationship, and what you can offer. This way, you will attract the right type of matches. Make it clear that you want a romantic relationship to avoid getting friend-zoned. Finally, once you match, spend some time chatting and getting to know each other. A match is not a commitment. If it doesn't go well, you can always tell them that it's not working out and unmatch.

It's the best way to meet a potential partner without leaving room for misunderstanding and ending up being friend-zoned.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's a really good decision. There is nothing wrong with focusing on your career first and marriage after. In fact, it is best to have financial independence before marriage. And though I understand your parents' concerns, 28 is absolutely not too late to get married. There is no right time frame to get married. There's only the right mindset. If you are not ready for it, you should not rush into it.
Your parents have your best intention in mind, let's remember that first. But that does not mean you have to give in to their ideas. Try to make them understand the importance of having a career of your own and the importance of being financially independent. I'm sure with time they will come around.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. I understand that it must be hard to move on after putting so much effort into building a relationship for nine years. But if there are threats of harm involved in it, I have no other advice than to inform your parents about the same and keep a safe distance. I am sure your partner has tried his best but looking into everyone's best interest, keeping your distance for the time being seems like the best option right now. You can ask your parents to talk to his parents; if they still continue to threaten you, as any well-wisher, I would be forced to ask you to reconsider the relationship.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry for your loss. It is certainly not easy to put yourself out there and find love. And it might seem that you should have to settle because it's difficult to find a kind man, but you shouldn't. While I would like to point out that looks don't last forever; it's people's nature, their kindness, and their behavior that stays in the long run, that doesn't mean you must settle down with the first man who ticks the boxes. If your heart isn't into it, you should not have to rush. Give it some time. If you are okay with it, maintain a friendly relationship with him. If, with time, you grow to like him, then that's amazing. If you don't, that's perfectly fine too.
My only suggestion here is don't rush. A good nature, though hard to find, is still the bare minimum. Also, please don't focus on outward appearances only. They can be deceiving.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. Sometimes parents make decisions on our behalf without understanding what it is that we want; that doesn't necessarily mean that our parents are selfish. More often than not, they do it with our best intentions in mind. You might be misunderstanding your parents wanting to show off a rich son-in-law. It is possible that they want you to have an easy life. Having said that, it is also important that your feelings be taken into consideration. You have been with your partner for five years and that is a significant amount of time. I suggest you try to reason with your parents. You can try bringing them all together and ask both your parents and your boyfriend's parents to talk it out. If there is clear communication, nothing will be left to assumptions. Next, keep on mentioning all the positive things about your partner. Try to etch that in your parents' mind. Third, if you are not working, I suggest you start looking for a job. Regardless of your parents', husband's, and his family's financial conditions, you should have financial freedom. You can also contribute to building a better life for yourself and your family.
I am sure your boyfriend and his family are amazing; you have spent five years with him and that should give you a fair idea. But just a gentle reminder, no one can be sure of someone's true nature till they start living together. I am not insinuating that your relatives are right about badmouthing your partner's family; all I am suggesting is that you look into it a bit more thoroughly. Marriage is indeed a big decision and rushing into it would be foolish.
And one more thing, it's just a phase. Tough times don't last forever.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Shruti,

I am sorry that you are in this situation. First of all, please try to look at it from your partner's perspective. It isn't easy to confront your parents and it's even harder when they stop communicating altogether. Having said that, I also understand how it is for you. It is not fair, especially in today's day and age, to face discrimination based on caste.

You have two options:
One, you wait patiently, emotionally support your boyfriend, and hope that his parents come to their senses and realize that we are living in 2024, and caste-based discrimination is ridiculous. In this scenario, you do have to let go of your self-respect and have to face many more hardships, that much is guaranteed.

The second option is you hold your head high and move on. Yes, it isn't what you hoped for when you emotionally invested in building this relationship, but unfortunately, these things are still happening. In this scenario, you will be sad for a long time, but you don't have to compromise on your self-respect and you will move on and live to see happier days with someone who respects you and sees you for who you are and not your caste.

Now, the choice is yours.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is difficult to tell if a person likes you romantically or just as a friend. There are always 50-50 chances of both. In my opinion, you should subtly ask her the same. Why assume when you can get clarity on the same? Start by telling that you like her more than just a friend. She will have some reaction, and she will also respond to it a certain way depending on how she feels about you. If she sees you as just a friend, I am sure she will let you know. And if she likes you back romantically, she will reveal that too. But I suggest you don't assume and overthink.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. One-sided love can be harsh on your mind. We can't exactly blame her here. She never led you on or expressed any such feelings for you. Neither was she bound to reciprocate. But keeping that aside, you are allowed to feel sad. Allow yourself to feel it. Trust me, it's nostalgia. It will pass. It is normal to be distracted when you are feeling gloomy. Try diverting your attention to something else. Talk to your friends, go out for a movie, go for a weekend trip, pick up a hobby, hit the gym, go for a run; mostly, keep yourself busy. You will not feel like this forever. I assure you that.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Rinkesh,

I cannot offer you much advice without further context. Why is she mad at you? Were you at fault? Or did she just decide to stop talking to you? If so, why? Has she decided to move on? Every little detail matters. Now, what I can tell you is to be patient. If this is a simple fight, she will come around. Let things calm down and then try to make up with her. If this is more serious, for instance, she doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, it's important to understand why and then act accordingly.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry for the challenges you are facing. I understand how difficult it must be to leave a person you love. Having said that, I would also like to point out that living a decent life is not cheap. You are currently unemployed and your partner has a low salary; it will not be sustainable in the long run. I am not asking you to leave him and marry someone else; all I am suggesting is don't rush. Take the time to find a decent job and ask your partner to do the same. Once you think you both are earning a good amount of money, put forth the idea of your marriage again to your parents.

Now the most important thing, you have met him online and never met him in real life. Is it worth taking this kind of risk before verifying everything in person? I am sure he is genuine but there is no harm in cross-checking. And I can't really blame your parents for having their doubts. Please don't rush. One wrong decision can ruin the rest of your life. Take your time, think this through, and meet him in person, most likely in your city and in a public space. Do a thorough background check. It is easy to get fooled when you are in love.

Again, please don't rush. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Best Wishes

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

From what I understand, she might not be interested in connecting with you. It is possible that she is interested in someone else and is already talking to that person. Take the hint and move on. You deserve someone who likes you as much as you like them. And I'm sure you will find that someone soon.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There is nothing wrong with being in a consensual relationship, regardless of the age difference. As you mentioned, you are already separated and there is no ethical issue either. As long as a 30 to 35-year-old woman is ready to date you, it is fine. And, as far as the possibility of it is concerned, I am sure many women wouldn't mind the age gap. But might I suggest chucking the age factor and focusing on personality, compatibility, and other such important factors.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how you are feeling. First of all, you are not alone in this. Secondly, it's time you recognize how much you have achieved in life. Kudos to that.

Now, coming to your concern, being an introvert is not an issue, though it comes with its own set of challenges. I understand that you feel shy when it comes to talking to women. That's where dating apps come in. You have seen no results on them; I hear you. But give it another try, but this time, with a fool-proof strategy. First off, write an appealing bio. It's equivalent to writing a cover letter- you put forward your best attributes and convince people why they should date you. You can mention your achievements, you can be honest and disclose that you are an introvert, mention what you have to offer as a partner and don't forget to mention what you are looking for in your partner. This would give your potential matches a concise idea of you and also help attract the right people. Second, display image matters. While I am not encouraging you to put up an over-edited picture hiding your imperfections, do not put up the worst one either. Make sure it's recent, decent, and of you and you alone, and not in a group. Third, if you like somebody, don't be afraid to send a message. You are not committing to them, nor do you have to see them in person. Leave a message, interact, only if things go well, meet in person. There's no rush and no prior commitment. Fourth and the most important one, be patient. The right match can take a while but when you do find them, it will be worth the wait.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Shruti,

I am sorry that you are in this situation. First of all, please try to look at it from your partner's perspective. It isn't easy to confront your parents and it's even harder when they stop communicating altogether. Having said that, I also understand how it is for you. It is not fair, especially in today's day and age, to face discrimination based on caste.

You have two options:
One, you wait patiently, emotionally support your boyfriend, and hope that his parents come to their senses and realize that we are living in 2024, and caste-based discrimination is ridiculous. In this scenario, you do have to let go of your self-respect and have to face many more hardships, that much is guaranteed.

The second option is you hold your head high and move on. Yes, it isn't what you hoped for when you emotionally invested in building this relationship, but unfortunately, these things are still happening. In this scenario, you will be sad for a long time, but you don't have to compromise on your self-respect and you will move on and live to see happier days with someone who respects you and sees you for who you are and not your caste.

Now, the choice is yours.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time. It is never easy to let go of a relationship, especially a long-term one where you have emotionally invested for years. I am sure your partner put up a fight with his parents and only when he realized that it would not work out, he decided to give up. If you think about it, marrying into a family that does not accept you specifically for your caste would never be a happy experience. I understand that you want to end up with your boyfriend but sometimes we have to make tough choices in life. You don't have to move on immediately, but I would highly recommend you not to try and convince your partner. If he wants to stand up for your relationship, he will. Convincing him to do something that he isn't ready for will not fetch you the desired outcome. Things can end up getting more bitter.

I am sure you have tried communicating with him openly and told him how you are feeling and what is it that you want. Now it's time to give him some space. See what he is doing. You also have to look at it from his perspective. No matter how much he wants to, standing up to your parents is not easy.

Now you wait. See what he does next. Is he contacting you? Is he trying to continue fighting for your relationship? Every step matters. Marriage is a big deal. Don't rush into it. Seven years is nothing compared to an entire lifetime.

I truly believe you deserve better. Don't let such absurd discriminations put you down. Be patient. I'm sure it will work out in the end; one way or another.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Amar,

It can be difficult to tell if someone likes you, especially the way you want them to; needless to say, assumptions can do more harm than good. The best thing is to ask directly. But if you are not in a position to do so, you can look out for some tell-tale signs. See if she is interested in talking to you, if she initiates conversations as much as you do, notice her body language- does she feel comfortable with you? Does she remember certain details that you have shared with her in the past- it could mean that you are important to her. But remember, none of these are definitive. She could be exhibiting all of these signs and yet not be interested in you. Maybe it's just her being friendly or not trying to hurt your feelings.

If you really want to know how she feels, ask. There's nothing wrong with that. If she says no, respect it and back away. If yes, then amazing. But don't try to take a guess. I repeat- it will do more harm than good.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Ankit,

I am sorry you are in this situation. I understand how challenging familial expectations can be. Here are some things you can try to convince your wishes- First off, try to communicate your feelings; if horoscopes do not matter to you, you should be able to directly convey that to your parents. Yes, being respectful and fulfilling your parent's wishes are of utmost importance but so is standing your ground when you are not in the wrong. When you express your feelings for your girlfriend, highlight the positives. Let it get etched in their mind and every time they think of her, they associate her with the positives you mentioned earlier. Mention her values, qualities, compatibility with her, how happy she makes you, and everything that is far more important than matching horoscopes. Ask a close family member to mediate. A third party's perspective can change their mind.

Here's the most important thing- patience. Deep-rooted beliefs and customs aren't easy to change. It will take time and a considerable amount of effort from both of you. Sometimes, repeated conversations can gradually shift their perspective.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Kanishka,

Let's get into it one by one. How to assure her that you won't hurt her again? Well, words are not enough most of the time. That does not mean you need to buy her gifts. It's time. Time is the answer. Give her time. Let your actions speak for you. Once enough time has passed and you have held your end of the bargain, she will know that you meant what you said. You would not need to convince or assure her. Just keep being a good friend. Next, should you buy her a gift? You can if you want to; who doesn't like gifts? But that won't accelerate the process of her trusting you. How to convince her to be confident and help her raise her self-esteem? As a friend, all you can do is constantly remind her how amazing she is and all that she has achieved and point out the positives in her. That can boost her confidence. But the journey to regaining or gaining self-esteem is her own. It isn't your place to push her; just a friendly reminder now and again would be nice.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Congratulations ????

Ans: Dear Sandeep,

There can be a myriad of reasons why she is acting cold. Long-distance relationships aren't easy to maintain. They can be exhausting at times. It is best if you sit her down and have a clear conversation stating your concerns. You are grownups. Assuming that something is wrong and overthinking about it will not help anyone. Clearing things out in the open is a better idea, any day. There's always a chance that you might not like what you find out, but at least, you will have clarity. But then again, you could be reading it wrong. People change a bit with the years. It could just be that. Talk to her.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you want to know whether your friend will continue having his extramarital affair. It is difficult for me to tell, but if he is morally okay and guilt free to cheat on his wife, the mother of his two kids, it is possible that he will continue with the relationship until something blows up, i.e., his wife finds out or his girlfriend backs out. I don't see how that is ethically correct from any possible angle.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Minu,

You were right in advising her to get herself out of this relationship; it sounds exhausting trying to keep track of where he is, what he is doing and why is he acting this way. It is unfair, but sometimes people just fall out of love; they change and there is nothing one can do about it. The best thing to do in this situation is to slowly get yourself out of this and move on. It is easier said than done, but unfortunately, this is the only advice I can give.

If she is desperate to hold on to him, she can confront him and try to sit him down for a clear and open discussion. But that rarely works. Again, it's unfortunate, but it happens time and again.

I am glad to see you standing by your friend during this time. I am not sure how much you can help her with suggestions, because people in love rarely tend to listen to reason, but even being there for her is plenty helpful. Hope you can help your friend through this rough patch.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It could mean a hundred and one different things depending on the context and her intentions. For starters, she might be interested in you and she is trying to understand if you are interested in her. That's the most likely explanation. If she is in some kind of romantic relationship with you, it is possible she is feeling a bit insecure and wants to seek validation by knowing that you are always watching her. It could be mere curiosity- she wants to gauge you and understand your nature; probably she wants to know if you pay attention to her. It can also be her way of flirting- letting you know that she is watching you watch her. Some people do so to build tension. It's all very harmless.

Depending on the context and her overall behavior, you can take a guess. Or you can plainly ask her about her intentions, instead of making assumptions.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such an issue. It isn't fair to put so much weight on your shoulders, especially at such a young age. But simultaneously I understand where your parents' concerns stem from; it is indeed a tough situation. Managing conflicting desires, especially with parents, is difficult.

Here is my two cents-
Talk to your boyfriend. While he is not being unreasonable in wanting to marry at 28, which seems like a fairly mature decision, you can try to make him understand the pressure you are under, and if possible, marry sooner rather than later. It does not mean you should get married next year. Things like marriage should never be rushed into. Find a middle ground that can work for both of you.

While it's natural to want to fulfill your family's expectations, it's also essential to consider your own desires and aspirations. Take the time to understand what it is that you want. Are you ready to be married at the age of 25? Does it align with your personal goals? Marriage is not everything in life, just so you know.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you have tried to confront your wife and it has not shown any fruitful result. I am truly sorry that you have to face this; infidelity is not an easy subject to deal with. Here is what I am advising- since you are not being able to handle this yourself, which is understandable, consider seeking professional help. Marriage counseling can do wonders. The messages that triggered the suspicion in your mind can have a different side too. Just a theory. It is possible that your partner is oblivious to the fact that certain exchanges are not deemed friendly by most people. A professional counselor can help put things into perspective for both you and your wife. You will have clarity and it will also help you sort your feelings in a more structured way.

But if you do not want to go that route, I suggest you gather more evidence that makes your case stronger. Keep them safe and show them only when you are emotionally stable. Let her know that if it doesn't stop, you will have to bring the matter to light for both your families, and might take further steps.

It is commendable that you are so focused on your child's well-being. Keep reassuring him that regardless of what happens between you and his mother, both of you love him the same and he is not to blame for any of the hardships that you are facing in your marriage. Children tend to blame themselves for their parent's marital problems. And once again, I urge you to see a counselor; if not for yourself, do it for your child.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Harpreet,

I understand that it can get frustrating when things don't work out at the pace we want them to, but don't rush with such important things as love and relationships. You are only 31. Take your time. Here's my suggestion-

Write a very engaging BIO that tells everything that is to know about you and most importantly, the fact that you are looking for a serious relationship and someone settled in the USA. This way, you can eliminate people who are not interested in serious relationships and are not from your preferred location. You can also attract the right kind of people if you mention the things you want in your partner and also everything that you have to offer in a relationship. Research a little and find dating apps that cater mostly to users looking for exclusive relationships that would lead to marriage. Join the one that seems suitable for your needs. One more thing, do not focus on the quantity of matches. Focus on the quality. You don't need ten matches to find the perfect one.

Just a gentle reminder, sometimes good things take time. I understand completely that you are feeling restless but take a breath. Focus on your friends and family for a while. Focus on yourself. Once you feel this dating fatigue calming down, come back to the game recharged. I am sure you will find your match soon.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

If you are looking for suggestions to convince someone of your love or to love you back, I cannot help you. I would go out a limb and assume that this person has rejected your proposal, and hence the idea of convincing. A no is a no; it isn't an invitation to convince. So, the best advice I can offer is, please move on.

If you mean "how to convey love," then I might have some suggestions-
Try words of affirmation. Instead of beating around the bush, you might consider saying I love you directly. You can also express your love through thoughtful actions, for instance, you can get her meaningful gifts. You can also spend quality time together, which is one of the best ways to convey your love. Be respectful and show her that you trust her. Different people convey and receive love in different ways. But these are the most common ones.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you would like to settle down with someone who resides in the United States. I recommend downloading matrimony or dating apps that work on a global level. For better matches and more clarity, you can add your wish for a serious relationship that would lead to marriage. Secondly, some apps allow you to set a location of your choice from where you would like to connect with desirable matches. Also mention what you are looking for in a partner, and what you have to offer, to attract the right people into your life.

If you want to use an Indian dating or matrimony app, in your bio, you can also mention that you are specifically looking to settle down with a girl who is either living in the US or will soon move there.

Hope this helps!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand it's difficult to lose a friend. Friendships are important and it is not uncommon to have lingering feelings even if he was just a friend. It happens with most deep friendships. However, right now it is essential to prioritize your current relationships and commitments, including your marriage and family and most importantly, yourself.

I suggest you focus on the present and be grateful for the friendship you experienced. Remind yourself of the reason you decided to sever ties; it must have been important to be worth losing a great friend. Engage in self-care. Find new friends. Not all friendships will be thick but having friends is essential to live a healthy life.

Remember, it takes time to move on, even if it is from a friendship. Allow yourself that time. There is no need to rush through the process. If you find these feelings persisting, seeing a counselor can help you get through it in a more structured way. Nevertheless, you are doing great yourself!

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am really sorry for your loss. I understand that pressure from family and peers can be stressful, but it's important not to rush into a new relationship simply because others want you to. While their opinions likely stem from concern for you, it's crucial to allow yourself the time and space to grieve your wife's passing.

If your family doesn't understand your decision, it's okay to stand firm. You're an adult capable of discerning what's best for yourself. Stick to your current path and honor your grieving process. Once you believe you have felt all the emotions, processed your loss, and begun to move forward should you consider the possibility of remarrying, but that too, only if you feel like it and are ready for it. Marrying to fill the void, or to take of your kid is never a good idea. I am sure you are doing a great job as a single dad. Trust yourself to make the right decision when the moment is appropriate.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Try dating apps; it's a great way to find a partner of your choice. You can mention the things you want in a partner and everything that you have to offer as someone's partner in your BIO. This will help you attract the right people for you.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you want a partner. You can try dating apps. If you want a serious relationship, there are some great apps that cater mostly to people looking for something genuine and sincere. Just do a little research and find the dating app that aligns with your needs. Mention your likes and dislikes, what you want to see in your partner, and all that you can offer to your partner in your bio. This will attract the right people for you, and help you waste little to no time and energy on incompatible matches.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

While you might have no wrong intentions, it is understandable for your partner to feel that your husband felt betrayed. It does not mean you were wrong, but at the same time, you should not be invalidating his feelings. Relationships are built on trust, and flirting with an ex, even if there's no intention of pursuing anything further, can still breach that trust for some people.

Your husband's reaction, while it may seem extreme to you, is a reflection of his feelings and boundaries. What might seem like harmless flirting to you could be interpreted differently by him, especially when you have a history with that person. Communication is key in situations like this. The best thing here is to talk things out, instead of assigning blame to each other.

Yes, there's a certain amount of "healthy flirting" that is acceptable in many relationships, but not all relationships. You have to figure out what is and what isn't acceptable in yours. It isn't a huge issue, but then again, it isn't our place to decide how much of a big deal it is for your husband. Sit together once things calm down a bit, talk openly, validate his feelings, and let him know that your intentions were not wrong. Also, couple's counseling might be beneficial in navigating these complex emotions and working through trust issues in your relationship. Ultimately, whether or not to pursue divorce is a decision that you both need to make together, definitely after careful consideration and discussion.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There are several wonderful ways to show your love on Valentine's Day.

You can plan a well-thought-out date for your partner. Plan something tailored to your partner's interests. It could be a picnic in the park, a cozy night in with homemade dinner and a movie, or a romantic dinner at their favorite restaurant. A meaningful gift can also give expression to your love. Don't focus on expensive gifts; opt for thoughtful presents that hold sentimental value. It can be something as inexpensive as a scrapbook of your favorite memories together or a handmade gift. Show your love by doing something thoughtful and helpful for your partner. You can cook their favorite dish, bake them a cake or if nothing works out, make them a cup of tea or coffee. It is not just the effort but also the thought that counts. Give voice to your love. Don't underestimate the power of spoken words. Telling your partner how much you love them can be more impactful than you can imagine.

Most importantly, remember that it's not about grand gestures or expensive gifts, but about showing appreciation, thoughtfulness, and affection.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

While it isn't a very complicated issue to discuss with your partner, I understand your concerns, especially from the Indian perspective.

When broaching the topic of female domination with your partner, prioritize creating a safe and open environment for discussion. Begin by affirming your love and commitment, emphasizing that this conversation is about exploring each other's interests and deepening your connection. Given the strict Indian cultural norms, approach the conversation with sensitivity, acknowledging traditional gender roles while emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and understanding. Make sure to listen actively to your partner's thoughts and concerns, reassuring them that your desire for female domination doesn't diminish your respect for them.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear about the challenges you are facing. I understand that it must be heartbreaking to have to let go of your love merely because of a difference in caste and even worse to have to forcefully marry someone you don't love. I suggest you have a clear discussion with both your partner and parents if you think you cannot remain in the marriage. Try to convince them that you are not happy and consider separation. It can be difficult to persuade the people we call family and some choices might even hurt them, but you still have to make them understand if your peace and happiness depend on them. Remember you are an adult who is allowed to have her own emotions and choices. If you choose to separate from your partner, it is okay.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Let me start by telling you that it is okay that you are feeling this way. It is only natural to feel some void after you lose a relationship and love. I understand it. Now, let's discuss some of the most effective ways to cope with it. First off, focus on yourself. Yes, having a partner can brighten up our lives, but that can only happen when we are content with ourselves first. Focus on what makes you happy as an individual. Take up some hobbies. Travel, read a book, go to the theater and watch a movie, go to a restaurant alone, hang out with friends, spend time with your family, and consider seeing a professional to take care of your mind along with your soul. Once you feel better and confident being alone, try dating. Dating apps are perfect for someone like you. More and more people are giving love a second shot on the apps and you can find someone who has been exactly where you are today and can empathize with you. It is not too late to fall in love again and find a companion for life. But all of that comes only after you work on yourself and give yourself time to heal and grow.

This sadness is temporary. It will pass. But consider seeing a counselor who can help you sort these feelings and work your way out of it.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am not sure if you are right either way. Being in a relationship with a married man, who is yet to get divorce, is ethically incorrect, whether there is physical intimacy or not. At the same time going back to your ex merely because you feel sad for him is also not the right choice. You are yourself admitting that he is a drunkard and he was also controlling and above all he slapped you; there's no excuse for any form of physical abuse in a relationship. Being in love does not make it okay to hit your partner. Please understand that.

In my opinion, you should take some time to reflect on the choices you are making. I truly believe you deserve better than a man who hits you, tries to control you, and a man who is already committed to someone else. Please think about it and make better choices that will allow you to feel true happiness.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such challenging times in your relationship. You have two choices: try to talk to your partner about approaching her parents to discuss your relationship and express your desire to get married, or consider parting ways. I cannot ask you to choose one or the other, but I can point out that relationships that need so much convincing are often as perfect as we make them out to be in our heads. Please consider this. You deserve someone who would at least put in the effort. You deserve someone who would pick you. Take some time to think about it.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I strongly suggest you not even remotely consider running away. While it may seem romantic initially, the harsh reality sets in, and the aftermath can be less than ideal. I acknowledge that you have a loving partner and envision a future together, and I also understand that convincing your parents might pose challenges, but I believe you will find a way to persuade them in due time. But eloping isn't the best way to start a life. It comes with its own set of difficulties.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I agree, it is a peculiar problem. I am sure you have told them that you are already engaged to be married to another woman. All I can suggest is to continue reminding them the same every time they propose an alliance. Maybe your parents can help out and make them understand in slightly strict words that you are not interested in the alliance and are already engaged. I am not sure what else you can do here in this situation. You can try ignoring them and focus on what's important. That's all.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry to hear this. I understand that these are challenging times and kudos to you for taking necessary steps such as seeking the help of a counselor to take care of your mind. Now coming to your question- it's essential to reflect on whether you genuinely wish to continue a relationship with a partner who not only lacks respect for you and your marriage but also shows no remorse for their actions. If you're inclined to give this relationship a second chance, you need to set ground rules. Seeking the guidance of a marriage counselor can help address the issues that have surfaced over the past couple of years, working together to mend the broken aspects and build a stronger future. But if you do not want to continue, if you want to give up, if you think your partner does not deserve these efforts, it is okay. Do not feel guilty for choosing self-respect and sanity over your marriage.

I cannot directly ask you to give up, but I will encourage you to reflect on what would truly be best for you, not for your husband or society. You.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is refreshing to see someone so selfless as you. I understand and appreciate your love and how much you are ready to sacrifice for her. However, I would like to offer a suggestion – it's crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health in this situation. While it's unfortunate that she is dealing with challenges in her marriage, resorting to having an affair might not be the most constructive way to cope.

I suggest that she and her husband explore the option of seeking professional help through a marriage counselor. This could help them navigate the complexities of their relationship and make an informed decision about whether to continue their marriage or part ways. In case they decide to separate, it would be valid for you two to start a relationship and pursue a happy life together. But if they decide to remain married, I fear that you might end up sacrificing your own chance at a fulfilling love life. I realize that you might be okay with it, but it isn't fair to you.

I encourage you to have an open and honest discussion with her before committing to anything, ensuring that your feelings and well-being are also taken into account.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is not too old to get married, especially if you find someone compatible. I understand that finding that perfect match is a bit difficult, but it should not stop you from trying. Put yourself out there; I suggest using dating apps. It is the easiest way to find someone compatible. Make sure to mention 'what you want and what you can offer' to attract the right crowd. If you are not too keen on dating someone who was previously married or with kids, mention that in your BIO to avoid matching with such people.

Again, you are never too old to find love. Don't shy away from having an amazing experience, thinking you are too late to the game.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are asking is morally incorrect. Being married to someone and craving someone else's love isn't only crossing the line lines, speaking from a moral point of view, but it has other layers of complexities too. She is not reciprocating your feelings. Bringing you a lunchbox does not have to do with love. It can be because she considers you a friend. Whatever the reason, you are married. She has the freedom to love anyone she chooses because she isn't in a committed relationship. But you are. Other than respecting her boundaries, you should also focus on your marriage. Have better communication with your spouse. Marriage can become mundane after a few years, and such infatuations are not uncommon. But how you deal with it shapes your marriage and the person you are; put effort into bringing the spark back into your marriage.

Take some time to reflect on your current situation and the impact it may have on your marriage and family. If you find it challenging to navigate your emotions and relationships, consider seeking the guidance of a marriage counselor. Our emotions can be all over the place at times. But with a little guidance, it isn't hard to get it sorted.

The bottom line is that convincing her to love you back or convincing her that you love her is not what you should be focusing on here. I am sure you know it isn't right. Focus on your spouse of many years. If you cannot get rid of these feelings, address the issue with your wife and you both can decide the course of action from there.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's amazing that he or his parents don't mind the differences but it also matters if you mind it. And another thing- are six days enough time to propose marriage to someone you met over the Internet or even accept it? I suggest you plan to meet in person, and then commit to anything. And even then if you are bothered about the differences, you consider all things so that there's no doubt in your mind. I would urge you to not rush or get distracted by grand gestures. As amazing as it is, it's important to be very careful. And if you decide to move ahead with it, speak to your parents and make sure his parents are also in the picture.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Kanishka,

I remember you and I am glad I could help you. I am glad you are taking measures to keep yourself busy and grow as well as help those who need help. As far as NGOs in Kolkata go, I am not well-versed in that field. I suggest you do some research. I'm sure you will find many.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that these conversations can be tricky to nail. First of all, I am sorry you have to go through this challenging phase. And it is valid to want to spend some quality time with your spouse. An open and direct conversation about the issue is the only way to deal with it. Choose the right time and place to address the issue. Don't bring up the topic as soon as he is back from office. He'd be tired and it would make you look like the bad guy even though the reality is far from it. Find a calm and private setting to discuss your feelings. Use "I statement" to express your feelings. For instance, don't say, "You make me feel lonely because of this time issue." Instead frame it like, "I feel so lonely because of the time issue." This way, he won't feel attacked and won't get defensive. Moreover, don't say, "We never spend time together," because this will be challenged with demands for example. Give concrete examples of instances when you felt neglected or missed out on quality time together. This can help him understand the impact his busy schedule is having on your relationship.

Now these are how you address the issue. There's more to it. You also have to acknowledge his perspective. If he says networking is important, it might hold some truth. Show him that you understand his commitments. This will make the conversation more cooperative than confrontational. Instead of merely complaining, come up with solutions and present them to him. This could include setting aside specific days or hours for family time, planning activities together, or finding compromises that work for both of you. Listen to his side of the story too. Let him express himself.

If none of these seem to improve the matter, I recommend seeing a professional for more structured support. Please understand that there's no shame in seeing a marriage counselor. It does not mean your marriage needs fixing or it's a bad marriage or it's falling apart. It simply means you need a little help to figure out certain arenas of marriage. We all do from time to time. Moreover, A neutral third party, who is trained on this specific subject, can provide better guidance and help facilitate productive communication.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Vandana

I understand how heartbreaking it can be to find out your spouse is cheating. I would only tell you one thing- if the thought of leaving him has crossed your mind even once, it is worth sitting down and introspecting. If you happen to come to an understanding that separation would be what's best for you, have an open and clear discussion with your spouse. If he agrees to change his ways, you can give it another shot. But that's completely up to you. No one can force you to give him a second chance. As you said, you don't still have a child and it is best to come to a decision before there is a child in the equation. If your husband does not care about it and sticks to his behavior, there will remain not a shred of doubt that separation is the right choice. But before all of that, take a beat and think. Not from a place of anger and grudge. Calm yourself and think if you are reading too much into the situation or if is it actually as bad as it looks. It will be tough, but it is important because the rest of your life depends on it.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am really sorry to hear that and you should know you deserve much more love and kindness. Closure, as important as it is to move on, can be tricky to achieve especially when communication breaks down. There are some things that you can do without having to contact him-

• Talk about it to your closest friend. Sharing your pain often brings you much-needed closure. It will help you process your emotions.
• Write down your feelings. No, I would not recommend sending them to your ex. You hold your head high. But write down everything that you are feeling in the moment. This will help organise your thoughts and emotions.
• Delete his pictures. There is no reason you should revisit the memories that are now tainted. It can be therapeutic. It's the digital version of "flush it down the toilet."
• Also remember, closure may not always come in the form of an apology or explanation from your ex-boyfriend. Sometimes, closure comes from within, as you learn to accept the situation and move on.

Healing takes time. Surround yourself with people who love and care for you. And never settle for anything less than you deserve.

Best Wishes!